I am now on Snapchat. Goodbye, texting.
For the last three decades many Americans have puzzled over a system that gives...– Carrie Rickey (via asgardian-feminist) I brought this up in one of my courses in college in a thesis titled “Rated ‘R’ for Arbitrary”…no one in my conservative christian college appreciated it.
Better ideas for Jurassic Park merchandising: MR. DNA. TALKING MR. DNA PLUSH MR. DNA MR. DNA ACTION FIGURES MR. DNA BED SHEETS WHY IS THERE NO LOVE FOR MR. DNA
I am currently home sick with little to no voice. My brother took me to Burger King to get Jurassic Park toys. My Sprite gave me the hiccups. My Sprite turned me into a Velociraptor. Bonus points for my sweet burp at the beginning. Seriously, how am I not attracting every guy ever?
I have no idea what we were actually talking...
Dad: Oh, you know, Pythagoras, or something.
Me: Pretty sure he had more to do with triangles.
Dad: I'd like to do a triangle, but your mom won't let me.
My new rule is if you reblog me or like my post, I will follow you pretty much instantly. Unless you post lots of pictures of naked people. I check my dash at work.
There is something fundamentally wrong with people who call Muddy Buddies “puppy chow”. Do not befriend these people. They are evil.
It Gets Better: Mattel - YouTube →
garrettsander: So proud and thankful to be a part of this!
My bestest friend sent me dinosaur earrings just because. I haven’t worn earrings in a few years. Guess who just shoved earrings into her ears… In other news, “Ow.”
Jurassic Park. Tonight. 10pm. I am going to pee my pants.
How Riveting: With all this Jurassic Park... →
squirmeethewormee: With all this Jurassic Park craziness happening, I just remembered a trip to Universal’s Jurassic Park area from last year. My sister and I love to see the live show they do inside the observatory place, so we were watching once, and this girl, probably around eighteen or so, had been staring… My roommate and I love, love that show and get really excited about it. A...
My brother just asked me if the dinosaurs talk in Jurassic Park. He has confused Jurassic Park and The Land Before Time. He is 27.
thedisneyfiles: Did you know that if you go to a Disney park and say things like “please” and “thank you” to cast members and show them some basic respect and not expect them to drop to the ground at your slightest whim, they’ll be really genuinely nice to you and do whatever they can to make sure you have a fantastic time? That’s better than watching characters play dead any day.
How is it the parks are packed and my resort has been at 50% capacity for weeks now?
The only thing keeping me from snapping at Guests this week is OH GOD JURASSIC PARK IMAX 3D 10pm THURSDAY APRIL FOURTH AT CITY WALK. Do I re-wear my Ellie Satler costume? Do I create a Lex costume? HOW DO I DRESS AS MR DNA?
My dad couldn’t find gloves, so he is currently wearing a trash bag on each hand. It looks like he’s birthing a calf out of the exhaust of my car.
The thing about going to see a psychiatrist for anxiety is that it gives you anxiety.
Everytime I reblog something with a lot of notes, I scroll through to a random person and reblog it from them. It could be from months ago. I like that I confuse people for at least a moment of their day.
imnotamisandristbut: I’m not a misandrist, but straight men need to stop cutting their hair off! I don’t want to hear that it’s harder to maintain. They should keep it long, clean, and professional so it’s nice to look at. It’s all men’s jobs to be nice to look at.
A haiku about working in retail
kamikazi278: Why’d you put that there That’s not where you got that from You lazy asshole
You know what’s difficult? Trying to search your insurance carrier’s website for a good counselor while crying and wearing glasses. Glasses should come with tiny windshield wipers for people who are prone to sobbing alone at night while on the internet.